A Friend In Me – How To Be A Safe Haven For Other Women – Book Review

A Friend In Me

A Friend In Me by Pamela Havey Lau – Book Review

Women are not solitary beings. In order to thrive, we need to form close relationships with those around us. Friendships with women of all ages are vital to our sense of emotional and spiritual well-being.

In A Friend In Me – How To Be A Safe Haven For Other Women, Pamela Havey Lau examines the rewards of developing friendships with women from different generations in the context of an informal Christian mentoring relationship!

If you are under forty, Pamela encourages you to seek out the experience of a wise woman who is growing in Christ to help mentor and guide you through life – to listen and be a sounding board for your hopes, dreams and accomplishments.

If you are over forty, Pamela encourages you to grow in your capacity to be a safe haven that young women can turn to when they need friendship, guidance and counsel.

To do this, Pamela suggests that you embrace five life-giving patterns found in Psalm 119:

  • Learn To Deal With Suffering
  • Give Healing Comfort
  • Act With Understanding
  • Know Full Forgiveness
  • Relate With Compassion

You can then learn how to comfortably initiate relations and talk to others about key issues such as faith, forgiveness, sexuality and vocation.

Pamela reminds us that younger women long to relationally connect with women who have experienced more of life than they have and cautions older women not to erect barriers out of fear!

When women of all ages band together, Pamela believes that they can impact the world and experience a deeper faith than they’ve ever known!

What I like most about A Friend In Me are the personal stories that the author shares and the call for authenticity in relationships.

If you pick up this book looking for guidance on developing traditional friendships with your peers – which are distinct from the mentoring relationships that Pamela emphasizes throughout this book – you might not feel the book meets your needs, although you will still benefit from much of the information that Pamela provides.

However, A Friend In Me is a highly relevant book on mentoring that will particularly be of interest to those involved in women’s ministry!

I rate this book 4 out of 5 stars.

About Pamela Havey Lau

Pamela Havey Lau

Pam Lau is the author of Soul Strength and numerous articles for such publications as Christian Scholar’s Review and Christianity Today. She has taught writing at George Fox University and speaks around the country at conferences and retreats.

A graduate of Liberty University and Colorado State University, Pam lives near Portland, Oregon, with her husband and three daughters.


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Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for review purposes. The opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.


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9 Responses to “A Friend In Me – How To Be A Safe Haven For Other Women – Book Review”

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  1. Emily says:

    Friendships are soo important! There seem to be many books out that focus on friendships. This looks like a good book.

  2. Now this book sounds amazing. Women of all ages need each other.

  3. heidi says:

    This sounds like a great book. I like the section on responding with compassion.

  4. I love this concept. The young women’s ministry in our church has a program where older women serve as mentors. They call them Ruths and Naomis. I’ve always loved cross-generational friendship. There’s such a wealth of blessing in them. 🙂

  5. Mary Hill
    Twitter: MaryHill16

    I love the sound of this book. I had the opportunity to make friends with some wonderful women at my old church. They were in their late 50’s and I only in my early 30’s. I learned so much, and they were a real help to me in my time of need. Thanks for sharing with Literacy Musing Mondays.

  6. Tina at Mommynificent
    Twitter: mommynificent

    This is a topic I believe we sorely need to address, and I’m so glad you’ve highlighted this book on the subject. It looks wonderful! Thanks for sharing this at Booknificent Thursday!

  7. Hello! I’m the author of A Friend In Me and am just now coming across your review! Would love for you to post this on my Facebook page Pamelahaveylau and on Amazon as my readers would love to see YOUR book reviews and website. Thanks so much! Pam Lau


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